A couple in their 50s was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary, an attending angel asked that they make a wish each for being so nice.
Wife: A trip around the world with my darling husband. Instantly, an airline and cruise tickets were in her hands and money as added bonus.
Husband: A female companion of 30 years younger than me. Instantly, he was turned eighty-four! Don’t you just love that angel with his good sense of humour! Judgment or is it justice?
But seriously wives, this complain of poor performance and the men wanting a younger female companion should stop. According to research, women from the age of 50 and above should be very active in that department. So why are you not showing your man what you’ve got? Why allow him to seek the younger inexperienced girls? Or don’t you care anymore? Do you know you can actually learn a lot from these old mummies you think know nothing? When you attend some women forum that cuts across the young and the old; all classes of married women, you hear and learn a lot, like the under listed. Try any or all of these and enjoy the time of your life.
Great ways to improve your husband in bed
Honey spread: Have you tried spreading your man’s man with honey and lollipop it? It’s an experience of a life time you must experience and if you can’t do that, spread it on his chest and nibble your way to his tits and hear him scream in ‘sextasy’.
Change position: If he is usually on top, change places with him, or lie side by side or do the chair one; him sitting and you …….. It gives a deep satisfying orgasm for both of you.
Do a strip tease dance for him: You know that men are easily aroused by what they see. So girl, give the best strip tease act you can and watch him eat you up first with his eyes and physically.
Flirt with him: A sweet 63 year old lady tells us how she keeps her husband of 37years panting and coming back for more over and over. Once in a while, while preparing for work, she drops her towel in front of her husband and bends all the way touching her toes (in the guise of picking the towel) the husband would naturally jump and grab her from behind, only to be reminded they’ll be late for work and the promise of later, spices up their day.
Wake him up seductively daily: Wake him up with a rub down with your body. Touch him without actually touching him. Blow some breeze along his neck or ears each morning and watch his transformation from a routine husband to a sex machine.
Show some loving care: Show him a little undivided care when he comes back from work and on most weekends. If he comes home tired, irritated and in a foul mood, give him space. But when you know he is well rested and relaxed, offer him a warm oil massage, but do it in your ‘bathing suit’, with your girls trailing up and down his body as you massage him.
Start tonight, do something sexually crazy that will keep asking and coming for more. Never pass your husband without touching him and give a look that promises more if he dares.
Foods that can enhance your sex life
Is your sex life a drag? Spice up your sex life with these super duper foods. There is nothing better than a romantic home cooked R-rated dinner to help turn up the heat in your love making:
- Berries: These are probably the most sensual foods for both the man and the woman. Your creativeness with your berries may indicate how creative you are sexually.
- Citrus fruits: Like oranges, grapes and adding lemon to your drinking water can literarily boost your bedroom performances. Research also shows that vitamin C can improve the health of the man’s sperm and equally, increase the fertility of both man and woman.
- Figs: Are packed with soluble and insoluble fiber which is very important for a healthy heart and have a long history of being a fertility booster.
- Seeds and Nuts: Almonds have actually been described as a sexual stimulant and can reduce infertility and miscarriages. Walnuts and Almonds produce healthy fats and nutrients for our sex hormones.
- Arugula: Dark leafy greens are essential for our sexual health and arugula has been known to be an arousal aid.
- Avocados: This fruit is said to be one of the healthiest foods in the world. This fruit balances hormones, stimulates fat loss, loaded with teasers and if dipped in chocolate, drives your pleasure centers crazy.
- Dark Chocolate: This food can trigger and set you in the mood and also produces the brain chemicals needed for sex.
- Seafood: One of the best sources for libido boosting zinc is the oyster. Other seafood types are wild salmon and herring and are essential also for healthy hearts.
Money back if these does not work.
Phrases that piss of a spouse and kills the sex:
- So what!
- I’m not listening!
- It is what it is!
- I don’t know!
- I’m not interested!
- Oh well, I told you so!
- Grow up!
- Fine; ok!
- Keeping silent!
- Enough already!