Some men are just flat out users. No one wants to date a man who is a player and a user. However, sometimes, the signs are usually obvious. Being used is not only frustrating, it’s painful, and it definitely takes a toll on your self-esteem. In the event that you’re unsure if you are being played by your partner, here are signs he is actually.
Things are rarely consistent
The relationship is a rollercoaster, to say the least. Some weeks, you two are talking and he’s initiating things and then a month later, he has completely pulled away from you and no longer seems to want to be involved or invested in the relationship. That’s because in actual fact, he doesn’t.
You pay the majority of the time
There’s nothing wrong with ‘going dutch’ (originally from Dutch etiquette where it isn’t unusual to pay separately when dating). There is also nothing wrong with going out to dinner one date and your man pays and then the next one, you pay. However, if you find that you’re paying for almost every meal and activity that you two do together, it’s a huge sign that he’s playing you. Your wallet shouldn’t be the only thing providing funds in the relationship.
He keeps you in the dark
Rushing a relationship is never good, but as time passes and things get a little bit more serious, couples usually have to talk about what the future holds. When a man keeps you in the dark about what he wants out of the relationship in the future, his wants and expectations, he probably isn’t seeking a future with you and is instead just leading you along.
Words don’t match his actions
Anyone can say something but what’s important is following up on those words. Is this man someone who talks a lot of talk and says a lot of sweet words but his actions just don’t match up with them? Nice words are good to hear, but follow-up actions have a much bigger impact. If the actions don’t meet the words, move it along.
He puts in very little effort
Effortless relationships tend to rarely go very far, and things become stressful when you’re the only one trying to make things work. If you have been spending time with a man who isn’t interested in putting in much effort to get to know you or to advance things, then it’s likely that he’s playing you for his own benefit.
You rarely receive gifts
Okay, so no one expects to receive cards and flowers on a daily or weekly basis, but it’s nice to receive a surprise gift every once-in-a-while. Are you typically the one buying this man gifts while he rarely buys you anything to surprise you with? A man who wants you and cares about you should be treating you to something special, even if it’s just a card. If you’re always the bearer of gifts, he’s probably not serious about things.
He’s available when it’s convenient
Availability is pretty important in a relationship. Of course, we all have lives and with work, and other activities, we can’t always be available. But, if this man only seems to come around or have time for you when it’s convenient for him, something is definitely off with this relationship. You deserve a man who is around when you need him to be, not one who is around because he needs something from you.
True affection is rare
There’s nothing better than being able to feel loved and cared for by someone. Men know that emotions tend to turn a woman into putty, but wise up here. If he’s only showing you affection to get you in bed, it’s a huge red flag that he’s just playing you.
You’re the unknown
Typically when a man is proud of his relationship and the woman he’s with, he likes to talk about it and introduce you to the people that he is closest to. But, if you have yet to meet a single one of his friends after months of seeing each other, something is definitely wrong. Either he’s just using you or you’re one of many; both options are bad news!
You come third…or fourth
Priorities when in a relationship are crucial, and it’s nice when you find a man who is willing to make you a priority in his life. If a man is playing you, it’s likely that he rarely can make time to see you and your feelings, wants, and needs aren’t at the top of his list of priorities.
He cancels plans often
Sure, things happen and sometimes plans have to be cancelled. When you notice that this man continuously cancels plans with you and never makes plans to reschedule, it’s a sign that he’s playing you and doesn’t feel that spending time with you is important or necessary. When time with you isn’t important, he probably has ulterior motives.
He’s selfish and unconcerned
Men can be a bit out of touch emotionally, but that shouldn’t stop him from being genuinely concerned and interested in your thoughts and feelings. If this man has no real concern or interest in your desires and wants, he’s obviously very selfish and self-centered, and is probably playing you so that he can benefit no one but himself
You feel uneasy deep down
Always listen to your gut. If deep down you feel like something isn’t right with this man, you’re probably right. When you have that feeling that makes you hesitate, it’s time to re-evaluate things and possibly end them for good.