Yes dear, it’s a crying shame what is happening in our society today. This ‘temporary enjoyment of sin’ is now the order of the day and it seems the lasting physical, emotional and spiritual harm it creates in its wake is no one’s business.
The truth is, there is no pressure of sex that has not been overcome before. In our days men went as far as using voodoo, but it came and passed and many still kept themselves as many more are still pure even today.
It might not be easy, but it is doable my dear. By His Grace and with these suggestions, you shall overcome as many other boys and girls have, including me.
Tips: How to avoid premarital sex
You are not tempted beyond your capabilities and there is always an escape route, find yours among these suggestions:
Figure out why you want to abstain from sex and write this down as plainly as. Don’t write ambiguous reasons like “because it’s a sin” or “because it’s wrong”. Your reasons have to come from who you are. It has to be solid so you won’t reason it away in the midst of challenges.
Define Boundaries: this could be a little tricky but necessary. Forget the question “how far is too far?” My mother always tells us not to start what we are sure we can’t finish. Why play with fire if you do not want to get burnt.
Avoid being alone in a bedroom or any other place where you can easily do what you shouldn’t.
Discuss and agree with your partner ahead of time that you will not engage in sex. You must make this known right from day one, only if you are not really serious about it yourself.
Don’t allow their laugh or jest of your decision sway you in any way. Their ‘everybody is doing it’ is not true. 90% of the kids I know still are virgins and many more out there are also. Don’t be fooled.
Pray for strength. The Good Book says to ‘Watch and pray lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.’
Avoid dwelling on sex-related issues, and suggestive books, magazines and TV programmes. As a matter of fact, your most sensitive sex organ is your mind; what you think about, you are likely to say and what you say and think about, you are more likely to do.
Reasons to avoid pre-marital sex
Ruins the Excitement
In indulging with your future life partner, the excitement of it being your first time is dead and lost forever. No matter the decision to abstain for three–six months before the wedding, you can’t get back that first time thrill.
Most times people who have had sexual dealings with someone else prior to tying the knot have the tendency to keep comparing the pre-marital flare and this in turn may kill the joy and enjoyment in their current marital relationship.
Because you are comparing your past with your present, you may think he is doing the same and finding you’re not up to his past girls. This could erode your self-confidence which might lead to a disturbed state of mind and eventually killing your sex life all together.
Incessant use of pills
To prevent pregnancy, you have to keep taking one pill or the other. In time, your womb, uterus etc will be begging for mercy from all the pills you have taken. Then there is the fear of the pills affecting child bearing and all.
ST D or STI (Infection)
Sexually transmitted diseases or infections are often heard to have been gotten from unprotected sex. The possibility becomes all the more high in pre-marital sex cases.
Chances of divorce
In a situation where sex is dead, other things in the marriage will also naturally come to an end and divorce becomes the only solution. All this as a result of a few minutes of ‘temporary enjoyment of sin.’
Just remember, you are not one of them; you are not a follow, follow; you have been created to set the pace for others to follow.
Better still, it is better to marry than to burn with passion and commit sin