Falling INLOVE with unavailable means falling in love with someone you will never spend the rest or your life with. You will not cuddle in bed till both of you are grey. You will not bear the marriage title, and you will not have the honor or pain of being attached to this person forever.
I say pain, because it is NOT a privilege to find yourself in this predicament. Unavailable love is dating a married man, sleeping with a married woman, loving a younger man, romancing a different status quo, nationality, religion…..someone who is very far and wide, health challenges like Aids, Cancer, Genotypes, etc.
These are serious factors. Basically, Falling INLOVE with unavailable means being with someone who is worlds apart from you in all ramification.
It means being emotionally entangled with someone who does not belong to you or who simply cannot be with you. Love is not enough. You must consider Bigamy, Adultery, and sheer stupidity.
I apologize for where you are, but please if you find yourself in this loop, achingly take a bow. THIS AFFAIR WILL NOT END WELL. It is very much like a death. One may wonder why they keep bumping into empty vessels, deep wells and mirages. It is not your fault. Matters of the heart could be very tricky.
Nevertheless, after you have relished in the act of falling In love or in lust, you must pick yourself up and tell yourself the truth. You cannot cure alcoholism by drinking another bottle of beer. You cannot free yourself from diabetes by eating a bunch of sugar.
So running to the very man or woman who you cannot be with, will only open you up to more addiction, and with addiction comes foolishness and illicit behavior.
Not only will you be belittled or lose your dignity, especially for women, you will get yourself into a spiral of victimhood, which could block your chances of ever falling in love with the one who is AVAILABLE. You will heal eventually. You are who you are, and nothing is wrong with you. Love is a puzzle. You have to be the right fit.
You are the right fit, but for someone else. Give yourself what this person gives you and cultivate your marriage or relationships to be greener. You were not created to chase the wind. Craving for unavailable is like romancing a ghost.
A BROKEN LIMB
I was thanking my friend (Facebook Celebrity: Jane Akwani) the other day for being such an inspiration to me. Her updates and articles have kept me encouraged to keep writing.
I visited Nigeria with the intention of launching my book ‘A SELFISH TURN’. I had done the first launching in New York and I was really looking forward to spreading the word in my country.
However the cost margin for printing was absolutely insane, so I had to stick to Amazon till I become a millionaire. Anyway, because I am not one to be defeated, I wrote another book, but fewer in pages, so I could print in Nigeria and launch it before I leave.
The title is ‘DONT GO THROUGH HELL FOR FREE’. So as I was talking to Jane, I mentioned that I had to reschedule my trip and leave back to my abode, 2 months earlier due to my ailing health, and it was on my sick bed that I wrote this book.
It marveled me that I was able to muster such beauty in my ugliness. I was so sick, yet so fixated on finishing the book. That is quite commendable.
But you see, a few of us are catalysts, where we live through the hell that we speak of and we seldom get a breath of fresh air. We experience major lows and sparing highs, yet people glean from our seemingly high persona.
The issue with such people is we don’t know when to rest or should I say, quit. We are so used to giving of ourselves or fighting wars that we always expect to win.
It took me getting very ill, to realize that it was okay for me to cancel ministrations and recover. Some people may presume it to be the devil interrupting God’s assignment through me.
However, I have lived in my body long enough and I have observed my patterns well enough to know when something is God, the devil, or a warning.
This was a warning. I was getting weaker by the day and I had to admit to myself that I have lost this battle, which is okay.
I didn’t get to travel to Enugu, Gombe, and Zaria, to preach my heart out and sing my uplifting songs. Because I am such a fighter, it is hard for me to see when I’ve been defeated.
There is no shame in defeat. This is a word for we overachievers and workaholics. The shame is when we choose to keep fighting wars that we are no longer equipped to fight, due to lack of sleep, and dwindling creativity.
It is pivotal that you listen to your body and spirit, and know when your assignment in a certain season, is up. I am of no use to anything or to anyone with a broken limb. Shame no longer lives here.
OMENESA is a Singer, Speaker, Author, Emotional Coach, TV and Radio Host, Ghost & Audio Writer, Entrepreneur. Bachelors: Church Ministries. Masters: Pending in Mental Health (Thanatology). Phd: Pending: Metaphysics. She lives in New York City; shuttles Abuja Nigeria; London for Performances and Business. She has a passion for reforming the minds of prison inmates, fertility hopefuls and hospice patients. She is a CNA, and she loves Lhasa Apso Dogs.