FOLLOWING GOD’S STEPS IN CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will. Rom 12:2 NIV
Life itself is a choice and whatever choices one make in life determines one’s success or failure. If someone goes for a right choice, success is surely guaranteed and as well, if a wrong choice is made, surely the person is heading for failure. Many people have a variety of views regarding selecting a husband or wife according to the will of God. Many believers are afraid that they might go out of the will of God or miss out ‘’on God’s best’’. Many believe that there is only one person whom the lord has selected for each believer .
Knowing the will of God is a serious issue in Christian marriage. Many Christians marry without knowing what the will of God is for their marriage. I have heard people say that as long as you do not marry an unbeliever you have fulfilled the will of God for your marriage. No wonder Christian divorce rate is soaring like those of the people of the world.
The Permissive Will of God
One of the plans of God for us is that we should not be lonely. He wants us to have a companion either as husband or as wife:
“And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Genesis 2:18 KJV). So what is the permissive will of God? God permit Christians to marry a fellow Christian but he does not permit us to marry an unbeliever. A point to note here is that the fact that He permits something does not mean it is His will. For instance, if someone is praying for a life partner on basis of the fact that the partner is a Christian and God is telling the fellow that do not be carried away by his or her outward appearance and qualities, but you insist that you will go ahead without following the divine directives, God may permit you to marry the fellow, the consequential effects will be borne by the disobedient fellow. God cannot be held responsible for anyone non-challant attitude. He knows the exact reason why, if the person is obedient and waits for God’s timing, the person will laugh the best.
The scripture says “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? In addition, what communion hath light with darkness? In addition, what concord hath Christ with Belial? Alternatively, what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? ” (2Corinthians 6:14-15) A believer has been sanctified by the blood of Jesus and brought out of darkness; as a result he should not be bound in holy matrimony with an infidel. Note that this does not mean that a believer cannot have unbelievers as friends but when it comes to the issue of marriage, believers are not permitted to marry an unbeliever (Deuteronomy 7:2-3). In Christianity, marriage is a kind of covenant that can only be broken by death without committing adultery (Romans 7:3-4). The scripture also explains to us that when couples are joined together in matrimony the two of them become one flesh (1Corinthians 6:16-18,). Therefore, my message to believer singles here is that they should never try to go out with an unbeliever let alone considering courtship. It is dangerous because you might fall in love and you will not be able to get out of it. Now that we know that God only permit Christians to marry Christians, how do you actually know that the brother or the sister you see in the church is actually a true believer. In fact, many agent of the devil actually abounds in the Some marriage counsellors may give you loads of questions to ask a brother or sister and that if the questions are answered correctly, then the fellow is your wife or husband. Brethren, the children of this world (darkness) are wiser than the children of God (Luke 16:8). Those in darkness can lie, pretend and humble themselves to get what they need from you. If you are deceived to marry a pretender, your life may never be the same. So how do you know who is a true Christian? Better still, how do you know the actual will of God? This will lead us what we called “perfect will of God’’