Today, we begin with the ladies.
Ladies, maybe you’re not sure; there are few things your boyfriend does that makes him come off as jealous and overly possessive but just as you’re about to draw your conclusion, you begin to wonder if you’re not reading too much meaning into his behavior. While jealousy and possessive are not always a bad thing in a relationship; sometimes they are even cute. But the line is crossed when it moves from being a sign of love or an indication of your partner discomfort some inappropriate behavior between you and someone else to a tool of dominance and control that your partner is trying to wield against you. Sometimes it’s not easy to discern between what a momentary act-up is and what a major red flag is. So we decided to help you so that you wouldn’t see the signs and remain stuck in that relationship. So, Ladies, here are five major signs that help you know if your boyfriend is the jealous and possessive type:
He Stalks You
When you find out that your boyfriend or your partner is always trying to find out where you are, always keeping tabs on what you’re doing. He’s always calling you out of the blue, paying unnecessary attention to background sounds of where you are. He’s always asking for the specifics of where you are, who you are with and even asking to speak with them even when it’s inappropriate so he can be sure that you’re not lying or he’s always showing up at your place or showing to pick you up from places when you have clearly told him that you have other plans. If he’s always trying to be around you without any regard for what you want, there’s a problem girl. Run and don’t look back.
He Wants To Be Involved In All The Decisions You Take
If you find out that your boyfriend or your partner feels he must have a part in every decision you take and it’s unacceptable that you could or might want to do something on your own without him getting involved or without his knowledge. He doesn’t seem to have any boundaries where you are concerned and isn’t interested in being consulted before telling what should be done on every matter. He doesn’t like it when you do anything without telling him first and before you know it the dynamics of everything have so changed that you find yourself asking him for permission over almost everything. And when you do something or go somewhere without seeking his approval, he sulks and acts like you’ve committed a crime. Then it is time to hit the road and be done with him.
All Your Friends Are Not Good Enough
If in any way, your boyfriend is always findings fault with all your friends, always pointing out their flaws and all the ways he thinks them not good enough friends. He always seems to be pouncing on their shortcomings to tell you that no one can be trusted except him. Then he is not the one girl. He shouldn’t make you feel that all your friends are criminals and he is the only saint. No. Your man should be friends with your friends. If he is not, then you should tell him bye-bye and move on from him.
He’s Pushing For More Commitment Than You’re Ready For
If you feel like you guys are just beginning to get closer but he’s already asking you for all your secrets, asking why you’ve not told the whole world about you. He wants to know all your passwords, he wants you to declare to him everywhere you go. When you tell him you’d much rather prefer if things naturally and gradually, he blackmails and threatens until you reluctantly or guiltily give in. Then he is a serial killer. That’s home serial killers think. Why would he want to know all of your passwords and secrets? No. In a relationship there should be trust and he should be able to trust you and you should be able to trust him.
He seems To Like it When You’re Down
Whenever you get a disappointment or someone lets you down and he’s quick to come to console you and try to lift your spirits up, it can be cute. But if for somehow you get a nagging feeling that he’s secretly happy and he tries to use your disappointment as an occasion to let you know that no one in your life or the world can be trusted, except him of course. Then it is not cute. Whenever you have conflicts with your friends, family or people that are dear to you, he’s never trying to encourage you to make up with them because he’s quick to tell you why you shouldn’t trust or have too much to do with them. Then you should run girl. He should be your rock and your biggest supporter. If he isn’t these two things then he is not the one.
It is worthy to note that there is line between what is tolerable and what dangerous behavior is. There is a degree of this kind of behavior that is harmless irritation and what is indicative of major insecurity in your partner. If your boyfriend is constantly jealous and possessive, then it is behavior that must addressed immediately. Do not, in anyway overlook it. Because when the time comes when you can’t bare it again, we would have done our jobs.
By: Nwaokocha Daniel