How I Almost Ruined My Marriage Even before we said “I Do” — Daily Times Nigeria Press "Enter" to skip to content

How I Almost Ruined My Marriage Even before we said “I Do”

One Thursday morning, we had just dropped our first picture together on Instagram, we did try to keep our relationship and stuffs off social media for a very long while, and I pretty much kept it away from most of the people that knew me, but since it was official now and only a few weeks away to walking the aisle, we broke it. 
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Then people started to drop comments, send DMs, call…. But one DM was different, Arinze’s, he slid in with:

_ “Na the Girl be this? “

I smiled and replied YES, feeling so fly. 
His next line was, ” No be Lola be that? 
She do her NYSC for Enugu abi? .

She been dey stay College Road side for self-con” 
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Now Arinze, has his history with girls, and also has a big mouth, but we never took his words for granted, when he drops hints like this, one just knew there was more. 
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So I asked Lolade, if she knew any Arinze back in Enugu, her reaction was suggestive, very reminiscent, but she said she had never had of any Arinze, except the Popular actor, Segun.

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That was the beginning of our many problems. 
 
The next day was a Friday and for every time Lolade called, I replied her with a text saying I was busy at a conference (this was however not true)
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I just couldn’t forget how perfectly Arinze described her, Ex Enugu corper that stayed at college road, even if she had a close resemblance with anyone, I didn’t even mention or tag her in the post, so there was no Stalking excuse… these other information he had were just too real, to be the case of a resemblance, & unlike Lola, she didn’t say who’s Arinze? Does he say he knows me? Or anything , she just said No & that was it since Thursday afternoon, this was strange & Arinze’s words, it was just so much battle going on in my head, and even though I was still receiving congratulatory text messages and calls, I wasn’t even sure where we stood.
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Maybe I shouldn’t have posted the photos, maybe I shouldn’t be worried, yes we all have our pasts, but what worried me more was the fact that Lola gave suggestive hints that she knew him, Arinze had details, & while I don’t want to care what her past might be, I can’t help but remember that we had been dating even before her service year, what could she be hiding from me? I’m her husband to be for crying out loud, we have been together for so long and she’s been everything that I prayed for. 
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That night after office, I picked her up as it’s our weekend ritual to have her come over, my mood was not bright but I just told her I’d had a long day, just before bed time, I hit my Instagram, and there was Arinze again. “Guy, you no con reply my message, na WA o.

Shey you true true wan Marry Lola? 
Anyway, I dey enter lag tomorrow, we gaz relate, I get some parole to run for one chair “

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That was it, my next heartburn, not because he was coming, but I suddenly remembered his side hustle, Arinze is a Pimp…. Ideas started to roast my brains at this point 
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Immediately Lola stepped out of the bathroom room, I hit her with the news, “Arinze is coming to Lag…, I wasn’t even done talking when she said, “To do what ??”. Her eyes brightened, and then she tried to get herself back… _

This was the next phase of our troubles.
The drums rolled in my head and as painful as it was waiting for the obvious explanations, I really wanted to hear it. 
In just a few seconds, my mind had travel too far, my eyes brewed enough tears,,,,, this is the woman I’ve loved for years, the one I’ve chosen to remain with all my life, but for the first time in years, I had no iota of trust for her.

_ “I just don’t want someone invading our privacy, this is not the time me need jo, the wedding is only a few days away o.. Ok”

She finally spoke as she walks towards the bed. 
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Me: But I didn’t say he was coming to stay here, moreover, he’s only in Lagos for a day. 
Lola: Oh well, I know how over nice you can be, who be the Arinze person sef? 
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She managed to let this topic slide again. 
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I just stayed calm, I can’t let her feel belittled or feelings like I didn’t trust her enough, what if I was wrong? But what if I was correct? What if Arinze had arranged her for his chairmen uncountable times, or what if Arinze was even in the picture too? So many What ifs strolled in my head, and I couldn’t just wait for her to sleep off so I can shove her off my body. 
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Her perfume had even started to irritate me. 
As she laid on my chest and surfed her done, she suddenly exclaimed and then mumbled that she had to be in Abuja to help her company seal a deal. 
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In my mind, she wanted to run, but I just feigned like I didn’t want her to travel, she can’t run forever anyways. 
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immediately I noticed she had slept, I just peeled her off my body and sat by the dressing mirror wondering if I really looked like a fool. 
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What was so hard for her to say? 
I turned to look at the woman I love, why couldn’t she just open up? 
As I wallowed in those thoughts, I flashed on her phone and for the first time, I felt the urge to surf it… I wanted to see that mail, I wanted to know if she follows Arinze & all. 
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True, there was a mail, but then there was a new one with the subject “Postponement”, the meeting will not hold again, I just marked as unread, somehow happy that she’d be here, so tomorrow after we see the baker we would me Arinze. 
 
  I woke up excited, I couldn’t wait for her to see her new mail and realize that there is no running from Arinze today. 
But the feeling was mixed, will I be able to handle this truth I seek? How will things be for us? Daaang, I’d break to pieces if Arinze have had Lola before or if she was a “runs girl” in the middle of our courtship. 
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She finally said it, Holding her phone, and her toothbrush, she says “The meeting has been rescheduled, I just saw Tonye’s mail”. Well, this was the moment, I excitedly said “So we are doing the Cake’s place and then Arinze today then”

I made vegetable sauce and Spaghetti that morning, but I could only take a few scoops, I was excited and anxious at the same time so it felt like the size of my stomach reduced with my intestines belly dancing somewhere down there. 
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Finally, we hit the cake maker’s place and all the while I was just waiting for Arinze to call, fear won’t let me call him. 
I mean, whatever happens after now might either Mar me or,,,, yes Mar me. 
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I wasn’t in on the Cake meeting at all, I just kept saying ‘Yes’s ‘it’s OK’… At this time, I didn’t even know what the cake was going to look like. 
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So, Arinze didn’t call, and Lola didn’t even seem like she was worried, wait, has she spoken with Him? Have they agreed not to tell me anything? Suddenly my phone rings, and she started to look at me in a weird way, it was Arinze, he was at the Mall and thanks to fate, we were few blocks away. 
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We got to the mall, my heart was beating faster, then I saw Arinze, but the part that was interesting was that Lola started yelling happily running with arms open towards him, then she hugged the lady that was with Arinze. 
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I later found out she was Tatiana, Arinze’s girl, Lola’s NYSC friend, the one who told Arinze all about the woman I’m now Married to. 
The marriage I almost ruined. 
But was it my fault I felt that way? 

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