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Communication: A solution that can save relationship

Communication is important in relationships as it allows us to share interests, aspirations and concerns, to support each other, to organise our lives and make decisions. Good communication is about the way we talk and listen, and about our body language. Talk to each other. No matter how well you know and love each other, you cannot read your partner’s mind. We need to communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings that may cause hurt, anger or confusion. When you talk to your partner try and think about what you want to say and how you feel when you say it. Be clear about what you want to communicate. Be clear about your messages so your partner hears it accurately and understands what you mean. Talk about what you want and feel and also share positive feelings with your partner, such as what you appreciate and admire about them, and how important they are to you.


Communication either makes or breaks you

Communication either makes or breaks most relationships. Be open to your partner. Decide on some ways to communicate differently with your partner.  Start simply. You might talk about something you did during the day and ask your partner how their day was or you could comment about something you heard on the news and ask for your partner’s opinion.  Don’t let on to each other what aspect of communication you are going to change, but see what effect this has on your partner, and change the way you communicate based on the response you get. After an agreed period (perhaps a week) sit down and compare notes. Remember changing your part in the communication will lead to changes. You don’t have to wait for your partner to change.


Open and clear communication skills saves relationships

Communication is complicated. It is best to be clear about what you want to communicate so that it can be received and understood by your partner. Open and clear communication skills can be developed, but some people find it hard to talk and may need time and encouragement to express their views. However, they may be good listeners or they may be people whose actions speak louder than their words. When trying to communicate keep as calm as you can. Though you may not be able to be as cool as you can during heated conversations with your partner, the calmer you are, the easier you will be able to express your feelings. So, if you are feeling furious in the middle of a conversation, or even livid before you bring up the issue, take a breather until you feel calm enough to start a productive discussion. Speak in a slow, even tone to articulate your ideas. Don’t talk over your partners. This will only make you angrier. Take deep breaths. Don’t get hysterical in the middle of an argument.



Elements of communication to help you pass your message across clearly

Body language

When we communicate, we can say a lot without speaking. Our body posture, tone of voice and the expressions on our face all convey a message. If your feelings don’t fit your words, it is often the non-verbal communication that gets ‘heard’ and believed. Notice whether your body language reflects what you are saying.


Be a good listener
Listening is a very important part of effective communication a good listener can encourage their partner to talk opening and honestly. When listening keep comfortable eye contact. Lean towards your partner and make gestures to show interest and concern. Face your partner, don’t sit or stand sideways. Avoid distracting gestures such as fidgeting with a pen, glancing at papers, or tapping your feet or fingers. Be aware that physical barriers, noise or interruptions will make good communication difficult. Show genuine interest and attention. Ask for feedback from your partner on your listening.


Be in control of happenings

Open and clear communicate can be learnt. To improve communication, ask questions and share responses with your partner. Consider and try ways to communicate differently. See whether the results improve your communication. When you are more aware of how to communicate, you will be able to have more control of what happens between you. It might not be easy at first, but opening new areas of communication can lead to a more fulfilling relationship.


Project your ideas with confidence
Make sure you project your ideas with confidence. This doesn’t mean you should walk into the discussion like you’re going for a business meeting. Instead project confidence by acting as comfortable as you can in the discussion. Smile from time to time, speak carefully, and don’t hesitate, ask questions or sound uncertain of what you say. If your partner doubts your commitment to your feelings he won’t take you as seriously. The more confident you are, the less likely you get scared off. This will help you state your ideas. Have a game plan before you begin, this is an important point. Don’t just jump into arguments when you least expect it, and start telling your partner things he or she is doing wrong. Even if you are upset or hurt for a variety of reasons, it is important to focus on the main point you want to make, and to think about the result you want to achieve from the conversation; if your only goal is to make your partner feel bad about themselves about what he or she has done, then you should give it more thought before you begin. Remember what your goal is; to show your partner why you are upset or hurt, to bring up and important conflict and find a compromise that will make you both happy, or to discuss how you can deal with the stress as a couple. Keeping your goals in the back of your mind will keep you on track.


Put yourself in your partner’s place

Use the power of imagination to fully envision what your partner’s perspective might be in a given situation. Be aware that there might be factors you don’t know about. When he or she is talking, putting yourself in his shoes can make understand why your behaviour, or the situation at hand, may be frustrating him. When you are angry or upset, it is hard to see your side of the argument. Empathy can always help you solve a problem in a relationship. It can help you validate his feelings and let him know that you understand his struggles.  Give him or her your full attention. Know the cues that your partner wants to talk about and take it seriously. When he or she wants to talk, turn off the TV set, put away your work, hide your phone, and do everything you can to give your partner full attention. If you are multi-tasking or distracted, then he or she will get more frustrated. If you are really in the middle of something, ask if you can have just few minutes to wrap it up so you are less distracted.


Learn to articulate your feelings
When you are listening to your partner, you should know that you don’t have to accept or understand everything he has to say. No matter how in sync you are, how similar you are, and how aligned your goals are, there will be times when you just don’t see eye to eye on a situation, no matter how hard you both try articulate your feelings. And that’s okay- being aware of the gap between your understanding of the situation and your partner’s will make you more receptive to what he has to say.

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