….from THE CHANDELIER in A RED NEGLIGEE (A Biblical Perspective)
Author: Amaka Chika-Mbonu
Publisher: Narrative Landscape Press
Reviewer: Ladesope Ladelokun
This 96-page book is a must read for everyone who aspires to have a blissful marriage.
In clear, simplified terms, author, Amaka Chika-Mbonu, reveals the need of every woman in a marriage and details a step-by-step approach on how every man can make his home
Amaka’s work is a book about woman written for man and for all the women who love them but oftentimes failed to find the words to articulate exactly how they feel about certain aspects of their relationship.
Disabusing the minds of readers that the book places all responsibilities in the marriage union on the man, the author says, far from it, and affirmed that no relationship can thrive when it is one-sided. Amaka called to mind famous lines like “It takes two to tango’’, evergreen song of the 70s,
“It’s so good loving somebody and somebody loves you back’’ and in the Holy Book, the Million Dollar poser of all times: “Can two walk together except they agree?”
In the introduction, “Olori-Ebi” Pastor Siju Iluyomade of RCCG, City of David, notes that the book does not only provide guidelines that aid communication in marriage, it dwells extensively on what the female
mind is thinking. Iluyomade recommends the book to those who have decided to marry and every married person, stating that an old dog can still be thought new tricks through the book.
In the opening Chapter titled “Tick Tock’’, the author goes mathematical by calculating the minutes and hours in a day and how time can be allotted right to accommodate women, noting that women deserve to be allotted a part of this time.
Recommending communication as the perfect recipe for a successful marriage, the author says, “A man who wants to be happily married but says, “I’m not wired to talk’’ is like someone who wants to be a doctor but can’t stand the sight of blood. Talking goes beyond what is uttered verbally.
Communicating through conscious or unconscious gesture is equally important”.
In Chapter Three, the author urges men to “Take the lead” and never create a vacuum by providing leadership and direction, emphasising on the need for men to lead in everything, from love, finance, giving, forgiving to forgetting.
The author maintains that women are wired to follow while men lead, buttressing her point with a verse in the Good Book: Ephesians 5: 23.
Chapter Four, titled “Touch me, (but if you don’t then) Touch Me Not”, is perhaps the most sensitive of the book.
Here, the author charges Christian couples to talk boldly about sex, reminding the reader that God created sex, and sex and sexual love are explored fully, deeply and explicitly in the Word of God.
“The end is not all that matters when it comes to sex,” she writes, “but the process leading
to sex matters, just as much as sex itself.”
This chapter offers insight into how creativity can be brought into sex and how couples
can have awesome sex.
A motivational speaker and a seasoned marriage counselor, Amaka Chika-Mbonu is currently the managing editor of her online magazine, temptations.com. She has been married for over two decades.